Milestones this week: Emilia stands on her own with only the help of her arms. William remains the best eater when it comes to the spoon. I swear, Jackson said “Mama” not once, but 3 times.
We had our 4 month check-up this week (uh, actually it’s been 5 months, but I couldn’t get in, as usual). The babies are between the 40th and 60th percentiles for heights and weights (for their age, unadjusted). I’m happy with that. I was worried when they came home in the 5th, and then skyrocketed to the 80th. Now they’re right in the middle. Nice.
I’m getting sick of random strangers talking to me when I have the triplets in tow. It’s such a weird life – pushing people away from the babies, answering personal questions…being the butt of jokes….or downright frowned upon for existing.
Strangers ignore you and talk to (or about) your babies, pointing and staring, as though your family were on display. People are gutsy. Not to be thin-skinned, but I’m having a hard time dealing with the pity coming my way. If one more person says, “My, YOU have your hands full”, I’m going to get…unfriendly.
For the first time, I took the trips to the doctor by myself. I finagled the triplet stroller through tight corners and doorways, and dealt with inevitable crying from 3 babies at once. I did just fine. Still, people couldn’t help but invade our space. In the elevator, a woman actually pulled back a visor to look at Jackson. Her husband was more tactful, telling her, “She doesn’t want your germs on the babies.” Without so much as a glance my way, she said, “I don’t have germs!” Really, lady? Could you be a little more disrespectful??
Heading back to the van, people talked loudly about us (not to us). One women yipped to the other, “Look, LOOK! Did you SEE that? It’s a TRAAAAIIIIN! HEHEHEHEHE!”
I admit: those comments hurt. I certainly don’t poke at other people’s babies, and giggle at their families.
That was after I took the babies to Super Target by myself. I used the triplet stroller, slung the diaper bag (a.k.a., the formula bag) over my shoulder, and put groceries underneath. Moving fast, I avoided eyes, and put on a face that said, “Don’t talk to me.” This worked for the most part. One person assertively approached anyway, and asked if she could look at the babies. How do you say no? I stopped. 4 more onlookers walked up. A mother yelled down the isle to her daughter (drawing even more attention), “Come look at this! Triplets!”
Yeah lady, we’re here for one day only…
One woman at the checkout said, “Are they all fraternal?” (implying assistance) I ducked out of that conversation, annoyed. It doesn’t matter if they’re spontaneous or not, it’s rude to ask. How inappropriate would it be if I asked about your baby’s conception??
You may wonder why our blog is “spontaneoustriplets.com”. It’s not a superiority thing. After discovering we were having triplets, the first thing Jason and I did was google “spontaneous triplets”. Nothing helpful came up, and we thought, “What the heck, it’ll make a great domain name .” People seek out those with similar stories. If you google “spontaneous triplets” now, our site is the first result. 25% of our traffic comes directly from google. Maybe someone should consider a play on “ivftriplets.com” (already taken, but you get the idea).
No one plans on having triplets, assistance or not. Women who spontaneously conceive are no more dissimilar than women who need assistance. We’re all dealing with a failure of the reproductive system. My body shouldn’t have dropped 2 eggs at once, and one of those eggs shouldn’t have split. The reality is, if I conceived triplets 100 years ago, my babies and I probably wouldn’t have survived.
I wish strangers would leave us in peace. Often, when they act friendly, it seems like they’re covering up their own shock and judgment. I see right through it. The most annoying comments are also the most frequent: “You’ve got your hands full!” and, “You poor thing!”
I’m not poor, I’m RICH. Triplets are DELIGHTFUL, and totally manageable (once you toss away your original plans for raising a baby). Triplet moms agree: We’re lucky to have had 3 babies at once, thank you very much. Save your pity for someone less fortunate.