For my husband and me, these are the most trying times of our lives, and therefore the relationship (we’re still honeymooners!). We’ve spat back and forth from frustrations of the moment, but no serious issues have arisen. We’re blessed, and our relationship is stronger than ever. I’m a very, very lucky woman! He always helps when I need it, and works incredibly hard to support us. If there were an award for best father-of-triplets, he’d win it.
I say this after we spent the weekend alone with the triplets for the very first time. It was SO HARD and completely exhausting for both of us. But, HELL YES, WE DID IT! You may say “Psssh”, but until you and your partner spend an entire weekend with newborn triplets, keep quiet! Imagine locking yourselves up in a cabin all weekend long…just the two of you…and 3 newborns. You only see each other when you wake the other up to take over care of the babies, who are hungry, crying, pooping, and needing constant attention…the ENTIRE time. Uh-huh. Not so sexy, is it? You need a darn good partner.
I receive lots of emails, and I’ll be honest to help others. Everyday I think I’ll loose it. Somedays I do. My whole world of thinking about baby care has changed. You can’t do it like you would with a singleton. People will make you feel like you suck as a mother and a parent if you don’t do it the “right” way, which, of course, is impossible with triplets. You go through your days feeling like a failure at the most important job of your life. I don’t know what the “right” way is, but I’ve heard enough to know I’m nowhere near it. The other day, all three babies were crying at the same time. I rotated them among my arms (I only have two), the bouncies, the boppies, the cribs, the swings, the rock-n-play, the tucker sling; I fed, changed and swaddled them, too. Still, they all screamed about 3 hours straight. At one point I stood in the room of screaming babies and cried right along with them. This must be why triplet moms are so sensitive about child raising…what are we to do???
What do you do when baby cries for no reason? People tell me it’s okay to let baby cry. Uh-huh. 1 minute is a very long time to hear a baby cry. I’m completely confused. My house is covered in baby books. Yes, I’ve read them, taken the advice, tried the methods; you name it, I’ve done it. But what I couldn’t understand was…why is advice SO extremely conflicting? Then it hit me…duh…personality (yeah, that field of psychology I’m working to get a PhD in). Big lesson: No single method works for all babies, because babies are different from one another. One may need to cry for a while, while the other should not. After all this confusion, I’m using what works for us, and discarding the rest. I’m still confused, and everyday we change something.
Now I’m blending methods. I don’t demand feed, and I don’t feed on a strict schedule. Everyone eats about 4-5 oz every 3 hours. All babies weigh around 11 lbs. Finally, they’re sleeping at least an hour between feedings during the day, and more at night. I feed about every 4 hours at night, from 7-8pm to 4-5 am. After the 7pmish feeding, it’s 9pm by the time everyone is down. Some sleep until 11pm or 12am. Then they’re back into bed by 1:30 or 2am. They make it until 3:30-4am. Someone usually stays up. After that, feeding continues every 3 hours. I have a feeling getting them to sleep through the night is not going to be easy. Still, I think their ability to sleep has a lot to do with the tucker sling and rock-n-play (in addition to their weight); they keep the boys with the most severe reflux elevated. Between all feedings–except the 11pmish feeding–someone is usually up and needs attention.
Emmy and William smile now. Jackson I tried to make smile the other day, but then he started crying!! :)