Random Thoughts & Updates
I really enjoy reading Esther’s posts each week. Apparently, so do a lot of other people! The blog has already been visited by well over 1,000 people from all over the world (big-ups to the Google Machine!). It’s been great to receive so much positive feedback and advice from everyone. Thank you and please keep it coming!
Also, I would like to thank all of our friends and family members who have sent us gifts, cards, and their well-wishes over the past few months. They mean a lot to us and we really appreciate it.
Esther, as you’ve probably noticed, is an excellent writer. Sadly, I am not. She’s definitely a tough act to follow here. But, I wanted to update everyone on what’s been going on with me lately. So, here are some random thoughts and updates in no particular order.
Work Life: Before we knew about the pregnancy I was freelancing full-time as a web developer. For the last 2 years I’ve owned and operated a limited liability company here in California named Square Orange, LLC. Anyway, when we first found out about her being pregnant we figured I could continue working for myself and that we could make it work. Plus, it would be super helpful that I could stay home with the baby and allow her to go to school etc. without the need to find a nanny or daycare program. Then of course we found out that we were having spontaneous triplets. This changed everything. Going from a family of 2 to 5 was just too much to handle while working for myself. Medical benefits are expensive. Not having steady income (par for the course when it comes to freelancing) just wouldn’t work any longer.
So, I started looking for a suitable “9 to 5” gig. Lucky for us a good friend of mine was looking for a front-end web developer so I applied for the job. I was offered the position shortly thereafter and for the last month or so I’ve been working full-time for Business.com as their lead Web UI Developer. Business.com and Work.com were acquired recently by the company I work for and we’ve all begun the long process of upgrading/modernizing their front and back-end systems to make them profitable again. Collectively these Internet domains see around 40 million unique visitors each month. It’s a great opportunity to be working for a company with so much reach. Oh, and I also still moonlight as a freelance web developer to earn extra cash on the side. Busy busy…
Personal Life: As you can probably guess, a lot changed for me in 2010. I met the love of my life, found out we’re having a litter of kids (LOL), and got married. It’s been an exciting time to say the least. Things continue to change almost daily, it seems. We moved from our “hip” downtown San Diego apartment to the suburbs. We bought a minivan. My would-be home office is now the babies room. That’s just the start, I assume, of many more changes to come.
Feeling Helpless: It’s been, at times, really hard to watch my wife go through all the changes pregnancy brings about. Not to mention being pregnant with 3 babies at once! She’s increasingly more uncomfortable as each day passes. She has a hard time sleeping. She feels like crap basically 24/7. She worries that she’s not eating enough to sustain the growth of 3 babies. She frets over the fact that she should be gaining more weight even though our doctors and nurses tell us the babies are doing great and growing on schedule. All I can do is reassure her that she’s doing an awesome job, and be there to help around the house and cook, etc. I basically try to do everything so she doesn’t have to lift a finger. I worry if she moves around too much, the stress on her body may cause the babies to come earlier than we want them to. It sucks feeling so helpless. I feel a lot like I am just along for the ride so to speak, and anything I say or do doesn’t really help much. Esther lets me know that this is not the case, which is nice, but I still wish I could do more.
Becoming a Dad: The way I feel about this topic is hard to put into words. Basically I’m nervous, excited, freaked out, etc. I assume this is how every Dad-to-be feels. I spend a lot of time thinking about if I will be a good Dad. Will my kids look up to me like how I looked up to my Mom and Dad? Will I make a good role model? Ugh… These last few weeks have been the toughest for me. I just can’t seem to stop worrying about everything.
But, sometimes when I think more about it I feel like I’ve been training for this moment all my life. I don’t sleep (night owl), I love coffee, I grew up around lots of small kids, and I had great parents and family to look up to and learn from. Perfect for attempting to manage 3 kids at once, right? I sure hope so.
Finally, while reflecting on my life as a child growing up, I’ve always thought about my Dad as being “World’s #1 Dad”. He worked tirelessly (and still does) to put food on the table, take care of us kids, and do a million other things for his family while always putting himself second. The same goes for my Mom as well. I was super lucky to have such great parents. While I was thinking about this stuff I dug up a few pics of me as a baby/little kid (linked above) to illustrate how happy we always were, and how lucky we were to have such an awesome support system. As you can see, I have a lot to live up to and huge shoes to fill…