Random Thoughts & Updates

I really enjoy reading Esther’s posts each week. Apparently, so do a lot of other people! The blog has already been visited by well over 1,000 people from all over the world (big-ups to the Google Machine!). It’s been great to receive so much positive feedback and advice from everyone. Thank you and please keep it coming!

Also, I would like to thank all of our friends and family members who have sent us gifts, cards, and their well-wishes over the past few months. They mean a lot to us and we really appreciate it.

Esther, as you’ve probably noticed, is an excellent writer. Sadly, I am not. She’s definitely a tough act to follow here. But, I wanted to update everyone on what’s been going on with me lately. So, here are some random thoughts and updates in no particular order.

Work Life: Before we knew about the pregnancy I was freelancing full-time as a web developer. For the last 2 years I’ve owned and operated a limited liability company here in California named Square Orange, LLC. Anyway, when we first found out about her being pregnant we figured I could continue working for myself and that we could make it work. Plus, it would be super helpful that I could stay home with the baby and allow her to go to school etc. without the need to find a nanny or daycare program. Then of course we found out that we were having spontaneous triplets. This changed everything. Going from a family of 2 to 5 was just too much to handle while working for myself. Medical benefits are expensive. Not having steady income (par for the course when it comes to freelancing) just wouldn’t work any longer.

So, I started looking for a suitable “9 to 5” gig. Lucky for us a good friend of mine was looking for a front-end web developer so I applied for the job. I was offered the position shortly thereafter and for the last month or so I’ve been working full-time for Business.com as their lead Web UI Developer. Business.com and Work.com were acquired recently by the company I work for and we’ve all begun the long process of upgrading/modernizing their front and back-end systems to make them profitable again. Collectively these Internet domains see around 40 million unique visitors each month. It’s a great opportunity to be working for a company with so much reach. Oh, and I also still moonlight as a freelance web developer to earn extra cash on the side. Busy busy…

Personal Life: As you can probably guess, a lot changed for me in 2010. I met the love of my life, found out we’re having a litter of kids (LOL), and got married. It’s been an exciting time to say the least. Things continue to change almost daily, it seems. We moved from our “hip” downtown San Diego apartment to the suburbs. We bought a minivan. My would-be home office is now the babies room. That’s just the start, I assume, of many more changes to come.

Feeling Helpless: It’s been, at times, really hard to watch my wife go through all the changes pregnancy brings about. Not to mention being pregnant with 3 babies at once! She’s increasingly more uncomfortable as each day passes. She has a hard time sleeping. She feels like crap basically 24/7. She worries that she’s not eating enough to sustain the growth of 3 babies. She frets over the fact that she should be gaining more weight even though our doctors and nurses tell us the babies are doing great and growing on schedule. All I can do is reassure her that she’s doing an awesome job, and be there to help around the house and cook, etc. I basically try to do everything so she doesn’t have to lift a finger. I worry if she moves around too much, the stress on her body may cause the babies to come earlier than we want them to. It sucks feeling so helpless. I feel a lot like I am just along for the ride so to speak, and anything I say or do doesn’t really help much. Esther lets me know that this is not the case, which is nice, but I still wish I could do more.

Becoming a Dad: The way I feel about this topic is hard to put into words. Basically I’m nervous, excited, freaked out, etc. I assume this is how every Dad-to-be feels. I spend a lot of time thinking about if I will be a good Dad. Will my kids look up to me like how I looked up to my Mom and Dad? Will I make a good role model? Ugh… These last few weeks have been the toughest for me. I just can’t seem to stop worrying about everything.

But, sometimes when I think more about it I feel like I’ve been training for this moment all my life. I don’t sleep (night owl), I love coffee, I grew up around lots of small kids, and I had great parents and family to look up to and learn from. Perfect for attempting to manage 3 kids at once, right? I sure hope so.

Me and my Dad My Dad, little brother, and me

Finally, while reflecting on my life as a child growing up, I’ve always thought about my Dad as being “World’s #1 Dad”. He worked tirelessly (and still does) to put food on the table, take care of us kids, and do a million other things for his family while always putting himself second. The same goes for my Mom as well. I was super lucky to have such great parents. While I was thinking about this stuff I dug up a few pics of me as a baby/little kid (linked above) to illustrate how happy we always were, and how lucky we were to have such an awesome support system. As you can see, I have a lot to live up to and huge shoes to fill…

15 comments

  • Elr727 says:

    Jason, I have no doubt that you and Esther will be wonderful, loving parents. You did have good role models
    and I am sure you will live up to your expectations of yourself!

  • Marcyhanes says:

    Jason, You are doing just what Esther needs right now, Loving & supporting her. Don’t lose sleep over being a good dad, you have what it will take.There are no how-to-books out there. Have patience
    and enjoy them, TIME FLIES!

  • Savymay99 says:

    My mom ran a day care my whole life, I know about babies and prego women too and even if she was having 1 baby she would still feel the same. Remember while you anxiously wait to be a Dad, Esther lives being a Mom every day. That equals different stress and the helpless feeling. Don’t worry you will be feeding, burping, and feeling helpless in a whole new way very soon. You guys will be great and amazing!…. PS I tried on my phone first and it didn’t work so if you have 9 posts from me…. Sorry. lol

    • Jason says:

      Hey Savannah. Totally understand that and doing what I can to make things as comfy as possible for her. My #1 goal has always been to look out for her and do everything I can to keep her happy ;-) Thanks for the comment as always and talk soon!

  • Jeremy says:

    Jason, it’s like reading blog entries that I might as well have written. I’m completely with you, down to the detail.

    Something tells me you’re going to be a great dad, man. As people continue to remind me, “you’re obsessed with being good at this. It’s the people that aren’t that need to worry.” From what little I know of you (and this blog entry helps a lot), I think you’re going to be great.

    One day we’ll all have to meet up somewhere central like Temecula and see if we can keep track of everyone. :)

    • Jason says:

      Hey Jeremy,

      Thanks so much. That means a lot. Yeah, it’s the unknown that makes me worry the most. But, as my Mom and others have said, I am sure I/we will do just fine. Again, thanks and I am sure you guys will be great as well!

      And yes, we should definitely plan on a triplet meetup once your lil ones are born. Will be fun and interesting ;-)

  • JulieSD3 says:

    re helpless & wish you could do more – I’m sure she feels the same. I’m so thankful for my husband taking up all my slack & ‘doing everything’ while I sit w/ feet up trying to keep my triplets in a while longer. I wish I could do more, but I’m gestating. Just knowing he’s got my back is tremendous – I’m sure its the same for you 2! JulieSD3

    • Jason says:

      Thanks Julie. Yes, I simply want her to take it as easy as possible and keep those lil buns baking as long as possible… Other than that, I do my best between working full-time (and part-time in the evenings) to keep things easy for her. Cook, clean, etc. etc. Again, thanks for the comment!

  • Txg90005e says:

    Jason, good to hear from you. I’m so glad you and Esther are together and I’m sure you will be awesome parents.

  • Rachel F says:

    The thought I had while reading this was – if only everyone thought this much about being a parent before they became a parent….the world would be a better place for children!

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