Still, we’re  very much enjoying the babies right now; they obviously know us and show it. Communication is happening. Also, we’re integrating them into our (previous) daily lives, no longer tethered to the house. We go anywhere and everywhere with them! I think we’re finally “used to” them.

Still, the attention remains. On Sat., the neighborhood had a garage sale, and we went looking for something that Jason could turn into a triplet table. Everywhere, people kept saying, “Hey, it’s that triplet family!” The attention never ceased, to the point where I finally said forget it, and we turned back. We’re used to the babies, but it may be a while before anyone else is.

Back to my sleep issues: I’ve been on a crazy sleep schedule for a while. For example, last Monday I fell asleep at 9pm and woke around 2am…for the day. Then on Tuesday, I fell asleep at 9pm and woke at 7am. Wed., it’s back to 9pm and 2am. This sounds nuts, but it’s working for me. I’m having a busy quarter at school, in addition to taking care of the babies the majority of the time, so I’m always, “Go, go, go!” Between pop quizzes, section quizzes, and essays, I’m grading approximately 150 papers a week. I’m also taking a core class outside my area, cognitive processes in child development (I want to learn more about babies), and presented my research to the department in an hour long talk, as required once a year. I can’t sleep.

If my sleep gets disrupted even slightly, my brain turns on and I start thinking about all I have to do. This happens a lot: “Crap! I forgot to email so-and-so about the exam tomorrow!” And I leap out of bed and start sending emails at 3am. People think I’m up already because of the babies, but I can’t really blame them anymore. My inability to sleep has truly taken on a life of its own.

I can handle the crazy schedule. I don’t mind the work at all; I’ve always been a hard worker. Slowly but surely, I’m getting the hang of it.

So, we’ve been without any help since Jason started working from home. If anyone is looking for a part-time job babysitting 1 year old triplets once a week, let me know!! We’re both pushed to the max and need just a little help. We would rather hire a referral than anymore craigslist babysitters.

Emmy’s going through a night waking stage. Not sure if it’s teething. She usually wakes twice (maybe 12am and 4am), and we end up feeding and changing her. This is compounded by the fact that she is the worst sleeper; For months, she has been the first to wake from naps, and always the earliest riser. She probably averages 13 hours of sleep in a 24 hour period, whereas the boys average more like 15.

My sleeping issues are back full-force. I’ve learned insomnia is common among triplet moms, I don’t know why. When Emmy wakes, it’s rare I can fall back to sleep in fewer than 2-3 hours. After she woke at 3:30am last night, I tossed and turned (luckily Jason can sleep through my restlessness) until 5:30, at which point I decided I was wasting time, lying there thinking about my research, my classes, students, and on, and on…when I could be getting stuff done. Still, unless I get up very early (like 4am), I never get time to myself. When I get up, it ends up being very enjoyable. I can actually hear the news while I work, and my attention is divided 2 ways, instead of 4, so I’m more productive.

I try to keep the kids within the “normal” range of development, but sometimes I lag behind. Like the finger foods. I can’t do it. Is there a benefit to encouraging them to eat finger foods? I mean, it’s not like they will forever be behind in their abilities to hold  carrots, right? I’m terrified of choking, and besides, they won’t eat the good stuff – just crap I’d rather not give them. Of course, they’ll eat anything in baby food. I’d rather have then eating purred broccoli instead of cheerios they can feed to themselves. Yes, it is more work for me…

Even with 3 babies, I’m no expert; quite the opposite. When I make a mistake, it’s three-fold. With one at a time, mistakes you make on the first one are buffered by extra attention, and fewer mistakes are exchanged for less attention as more babies arrive. It just doesn’t work that way with first-born babies who happen to be triplets. You make mistakes, and you can not buffer them by more attention. I worry about my mistakes constantly.

The boys play very well together, and Emilia, not as well, but she’s getting better. Observing closely, I notice the ID boys give up toys to each other and Emmy, but not vice versa. The obvious theory is that the boys have been sharing a very tight space since birth, working together to survive since conception, so it’s only natural they share well. Emmy (who had her own sac), had no idea about other babies, and never fought for space. Now born, she gets super-frustrated when it comes to sharing. People have actually used the word “bully,” or “pushy,” to describe Emmy. I think they’re wrong; it’s because they compare her to the relationship the IDs have, which is succinct and harmonious. Also, the boys are the same sex! If you compare the IDs and Emmy, it’s easy to conclude she is difficult. In actuality, she acts just like any other singleton (who doesn’t get enough attention).

Jason quit his full-time, away-from-home job and went back to his full-time, work-from-home job. Clearly the right decision, but something we couldn’t predict at the time.  The surprise pregnancy panicked us, and Jason decided to go back to a “stable” job with benefits. Turns out, the benefits weren’t worth the cost of gas and a nanny, no where near it (they quoted us at $800 a month for health and dental). Now we save around $2300 a month in gas and a nanny. Jason’s clients continue to provide him a steady stream of work and he watches the babies while I’m at school. We can easily maintain as long as Jason continues to get enough work (anyone looking for a great front-end web developer: www.squareorangellc.com). Most importantly, I see the close relationship developing between him and the babies, and as the the commercial suggests, it’s “priceless.”

A typical shift looks like this: bottle + solids, lasting about an hour. After cleanup, babies start cruising. Jackson mostly sits unassisted while chewing on various toys, and either he or William insist I hold them while watching their siblings. Emilia immediately figures out the most dangerous things to do, like finding cords, investigating the fireplace and outlets, or getting herself stuck under the couch. As I type, Emmy just moved the tubs surrounding the TV, going after the karaoke mics. William’s cruising down the hallway (he’s FAST), while whining and acting helpless and looking for me, and Jackson is doing the same, but shouting from his sitting position, as though he were glued to the spot.

I gave in and bought the best baby gates available. Now Emilia just hangs by the bars, pacing back and forth, looking like a prisoner. She also does this in her crib; every morning I find her standing there, still not tall enough to look over the top, but screaming at me and stuffing her face as best she can between the slates.

Jason errs on the side of caution, and I, the side of…less caution. We generally meet in the middle, and learn a lot from each other. One day he surprised me and said, “Let’s take the babies out to eat.” I was up and ready in 5 mins, totally thrilled! Of course, he was shocked when I let them sample my mashed potatoes, and the next time (gasp!) a french fry. Soon, Jason started offering the pickle and fries too. Another success for the 2 of us handling 3 babies.

Other than those special times we go out, I give them the best nourishment possible, something I can provide for all 3, equally. I’m probably going overboard, but I’ll never get over the guilt of the first 6 months – all the crying-it-out, not being able to breastfeed or even demand feed w/bottles, hold them enough, ect.. At least now I am able to give them the healthiest things out there – tofu, legumes, quinoa, salmon, chicken and other high-protein selections. These are mixed primary with greens, namely spinach and broccoli. Carrots, peas, squash, sweet potatoes and corn serve as extras, generally added for flavor. Jason was skeptical at first, but I pushed, making sure the babies advanced far beyond bananas and sweet potatoes. Jason eventually got on board when he saw they would indeed eat this stuff. This week he brought home fresh organic wheatgrass for the babies, and instructed me to just shave off the tops and blend w/everything else. Huh! To me, diet is every bit as important for mental development as everything else (i.e., reading to babies, playing with them, exposing them to other kids/babies, teaching them language). How is quinoa or tofu different from bananas or cherrios to a baby anyway? Yes, I hide the less tasty stuff in more delicious options, but they eat what I’m serving, always.

We’re doing So. Much. Better. As though it were a trauma, Jason and I don’t think back to times before 4 months of the babies’ births, an all-too-common sentiment among triplet moms. The absolute certainty the babies are not being taken care of ideally made the experience dreadful and guilt-ridden, hallmarked by an overall sense of helplessness. We felt like utter failures every single day. In addition, the sleep deprivation, fear, total cluelessness and unpreparedness of having a baby (much less 3), nearly killed us. I am not the first triplet mom to say this (by far), and I sure won’t be the last. I think it’s safe to say those difficult days are far behind us now. Both of us can handle chasing after babies all day, in fact, we thrive on it.

William (Mr. Hug’s brother) is now nicknamed “Mr. Grips” or “Klinger” or “Klingon.”  Both Jason and I settled on “Yemmy pants” for Emilia. It’s the only “name” she responds to anymore. Jackson is called, “Birdman” because he rolls his tongue and screams like a pterodactyl (I have footage to prove it).

So the boys switched up on me again. It was Jackson (a.k.a. Mr. Hugs), who originally did all the clinging – now William beats him by a long shot. Emilia still cries to be picked up, but we have yet to get an actual hug out of her. She sticks her arms and legs straight out, making a cross. You have to force her to sit instead of stand…on her tiptoes…Very strange. Everyone still has green eyes, but Emilia’s look different. I think they’ll go brown.

We’re making organic baby food. It’s sooo easy, and we save about $5 a day. Simply steam veggies and fruits and blend. I add the water used for steaming (filled with additional nutrients) to the blender. I only use frozen stuff  when it’s too difficult to work fresh (peas, corn, green beans, mangos), but the majority, is fresh (carrots, squash, broccoli, sweet potatoes, avocados, pears, peaches, plums, apples, kiwi, strawberries, bananas, ect…). I pour the mixtures into ice cube trays (we have 8) and pop out to defrost when needed. I try to use the baby food within 2 days to keep as much nutritional value as possible. Because of that, I make baby food at least three times a week.

Chronic back pain – upper and lower. Totally sucks. I’ve been saving for an elliptical machine, and I think we’re buying one when we get our tax return!! I’m sooo excited. I used to work out nearly everyday; I absolutely love the gym. Of course, I can’t afford to pay the nanny extra. (She already gets my entire paycheck, and I still spend a good deal of time working while the babies are up.) With the machine here, I can work out when the babies nap!

I’m adjusting to grad school curveballs while caring for the babies. Even with help, I don’t have enough. Things just pop up, without notice, and need to be dealt with immediately. This is particularly annoying when working with procrastinators. I can get things done in a hurry, but it’s really difficult, and my output suffers. My biggest struggle so far is dealing with the “surprise” work. In the past, I could always take time from this or that…now I can’t do that. For example, last week’s 4 day notice to write 32 questions for an exam really threw me. It’s not like I can set babies aside for later and return to them when I’m done.  In retrospect, I probably shouldn’t have decided to teach a subject I’ve never taken (Industrial/Organizational psychology). Not only am I obviously tired, I have trouble answering questions because I don’t know the material well. It’s tough, I’m not gonna lie.

Late nights at school and early mornings with the babies followed by teaching 3 sections in the late afternoon is NOT working for me. Sleep deprivation and mental activity do not mix. I don’t know why babies are so exhausting, but even my students make comments about how tired I look. Sigh. If they only knew how discombobulated I am (I think they’re catching on).  I thought kids would make me a better teacher, not worse. Something tells me my winning student evals are a thing of the past. Still, my research hasn’t suffered; I’m more involved and excited about it than ever. Never expected that, either.

About 3 or 4 mornings a week a baby wakes at 4am (ok, Emilia). I can’t function, so I changed their schedule. In my crusade for more sleep, babies are kept up until 8pm so they’ll sleep longer in the morning. Also, I nailed old dark curtains over their window so it’s PITCH BLACK. So far, I’ve seen improvement. Getting 5-6 hours of sleep nights before teaching will hopefully make a tremendous difference the next day. I might have a rough quarter, drop the ball here and there, but I’ll get through it. One good thing about being back in school is that I shower more than twice a week. :)

Jason would help more, but he’s just as busy as I am. He’s gone 7:30 am to 6:30 pm. Then he moonlights every night and weekend, so basically 2 full time jobs to make ends meet. He’s also in charge of all the extra projects that come up, like dealing with the 2 of us being employers, taxes, all the bills, ect…We have no time for each other, it’s absolutely crazy how busy we both are. We need a vacation…no…we need a honeymoon!!!

I’ll update with photos soon!

So, onto the sign language. Anything that promotes communication between me and the babies makes me feel so much closer to them.

I’m back in school full time, meaning I’m teaching undergrads (3 sections), running 2 research studies, and taking classes. I REALLY struggled in my first year of grad school. To me, nothing was more difficult than a research-based PhD program…I was wrong..haha! The program is a HUGE privilege, and not so impossible after triplets! I have A LOT to learn, (especially about statistics), but my confidence increased and my anxiety decreased. I feel competent.

The time away from the babies makes me enjoy them more. The time I spend at school makes me appreciate how awesome it is to have both a family and a career. Of course, often I double my workload; I’ve never worked so hard in my LIFE!!  All in all, I’m doing better in school, and better as a mother.

At the moment, Jackson could be described as the ring leader. He’s the reason wake times, meals, and naps begin. Every single morning, Jackson shouts to get up, stirring me and the other two (who would otherwise wait patiently). Everyone knows how Jackson feels; he yells whereas the others “talk.” His needs and desires are undoubtable. People often describe him as “bossy.” I never say a word about his personality to helpers, but everyone eventually says, “Boy, that Jackson…” as in, “He’s really loud and demanding.” He’s keenly aware of my location at all times, to the point that I sometimes hide from him. He gets “jealous” if I pick up another baby. I tell him he’s already been held, it’s someone else’s turn, but still, he ends up in my arms much more often than the others. Being the only one I held consistently in the hospital, he made himself the first baby bonded to me. As the first who really hugged, Jason nicknamed him, “Mr. Hugs.” He was also the first to scoot across the mat, roll in both directions, sit up, and cut teeth.

Emilia…she looks very “feminine,” but don’t expect her to be your typical girl, especially when she’s intent on something.  She’s skilled with objects, and the only one who cries if her toy is taken (more like ripped  from her hands). Whereas the boys will hold toys gently in their mouths, Emilia will take heads off. She’s intense. Since birth, she often starts out screaming instead of crying, going from silent to piercing in an instant. It really startles me–that unexpected blood-curtling scream. The ONLY way to sooth her is to pick her up. She also has a knack for crying and smiling at the same time. Because she looks so delicate, helpers express surprise at her volatility. She seems very intelligent, and was the first to do many things – smile, laugh, hold her bottle, stand, and most importantly, sleep through the night, months before the boys. Jason nicknamed her, “Missy Pants,” and “Pretty Pants.” I call her, “Emmy,” “Yemmy,” and “Emmy/Yemmy Whemmy.”

William…not a baby of “firsts,” but the most easy-going. Like Jackson, helpers comment on William, usually telling me he’s their favorite. He’s incredibly patient, and a big lover of the spoon. He smiles the most – the biggest smile you ever saw. I see Jackson and Emilia fighting over objects, but never William. He’ll hand them over for the others to play with. He enjoys being next to his siblings, and watching them. He showed an interest in TV and music long before the other two, and gets extremely excited when daddy plays guitar, or both of us sing karaoke to him. Jason says William makes the cutest baby sounds, and I believe he says “mama” most frequently. Jason nicknamed him, “Mr. Hug’s Brother.”

We’re still suffering from Daylight Saving Time. My only hope is for the next one to come around and fix it!

They’re acting like “triplets.” If one starts crying, the other two look over in curiosity and start as well, for no apparent reason. Same goes for feeding. If one gets a bottle, the other two–otherwise content–start crying for the bottle, even if they’re not hungry.  I never know to respond, hence the schedule. If one eats, all eat. If one naps, all nap. Although some think a schedule solely benefits the parents, that’s simply not true with multiples. Maintaining an ever-changing schedule with infants is much harder than one would expect.

I wish I were a morning person. Instead, I toss and turn all night, finally getting sleepy just about the time the babies wake up. I get up at 5am, 7 days a week…still, I don’t adjust. I seem to be functioning all right, so I guess another 6 months of this is doable. I hear it takes about a year for them to really stop waking during the night–and at 5am.

As much as we spend on formula, baby food, and diapers, our highest baby-induced expenses are the nanny (so I can continue my research, teach, and go to school), and medical bills. The nanny comes a maximum of 17 hours a week, totaling over $800.oo a month. We’ve paid nearly $6,500.00 in medical bills since the babies’ birth, yet I just received a phone call today telling me we still owe another $1,500.00. And I have good insurance!

So, Jason literally works around the clock—2 full-time jobs–to support us. He’s gone at work 11-12 hours a day, and then works every night and every weekend taking jobs through his LLC (www.squareorangellc.com). This helps us afford all the expenses, but it also means neither of us gets free time. Every day is like the day before; there are no weekends, no breaks, no times to relax.

I’m not complaining; WE ARE DOING IT!! I’m extremely impressed with our teamwork. We didn’t give up, pack up, and move home to our parents. One day we’ll look back and wonder how we got through this. For now, heads down, hopes up, and one foot in front of the other…

Everyone eats about 6 ounces of solids a day: organic rice, veggies, and fruit. I’m patient, so if it takes and hour to get through a jar of peas, so be it. Like formula, organic baby food is extremely expensive. Because we’re not decreasing their formula intake, we’re adding another whooping $150.00 a month to our bills, bringing the grand total to $550.00/month for the babies’ FOOD ALONE.

Of course, our food bills are on the high side because we went organic. Many sources provide free formula, and between the pedi, “multiples” programs, coupons, and/or buying generic, we could’ve cut our costs to a third or quarter of the price. But I insist on organic, and no one gives free or reduced samples of organic anything, unfortuately.

I decided to make my own baby food. Any tips on this would be appreciated. I’m also trying to cut costs in other ways, like changing diapers less often, and never splurging on new outfits.

I lost the 4 hour schedule (it’s about 3 – 3.5); I just can’t let them cry to maintain the schedule. Also, someone ALWAYS wakes around 4:45am, and it’s never the same baby. I tuck the baby back in and he/she usually goes back to sleep until 6am. Of course, I’m up for the day.

Also, I’m relying more and more on the Einstein videos to keep them from crying. They’re bored with all the stations, and even me. They go for stroller walks every other day, eat at least one meal outside and play on a blanket in the sun, but still, it seems like I’m not doing enough to keep them happy! If I turn on an Einstein video, they immediately calm. I don’t know what to do!

Now that they’re 6 months old and I’m busy with school and research, blog posts will be bi-weekly.

I interviewed Meri to find out how she takes care of triplets while working from home.

ME: When did you start and finish your first book, Glycemic Index Diet for Dummies?

MERI: I started right after I got pregnant with the triplets, and finished before they were born. It was rough, as I was on bedrest for the final 3 months, and finished in the hospital.

ME: UGH. I could hardly spell my name during the last months of pregnancy.

MERI: I did get some help to finish, but once they started the meds for preterm labor, I could no longer work. Luckily, the book was nearly completed by then.

ME: When did you start and finish your second book, Glycemic Index Cookbook for Dummies?

MERI: I started when the babies were 6 months, and finished when they were 11 months. During that time, I was doing heavy (160) recipe development. My sister and her daughter, my parents, and friends helped test the recipes.

ME: When did you start and finish your third book, Mediterranean Diet Cookbook for Dummies?

MERI: I started when the babies were 19 months, and finished when they were 2 years old.

ME: Tell me about the help you had.

MERI: I had severe pre-eclampisa when they were born, so for the first month we had my mom, my husband’s mom, and my sister living with us. I was basically still on bedrest, couldn’t see well from a complication of pre-eclampsia, all I could do was hold babies for the first 3 weeks. Then the pre-eclampisa started to resolve. Still, for the first 3 months, someone was living with me. Either my mother-in-law, bother-in-law, my mother, sister-in-law, 2 friends, and both my sisters. After 3 months, my in-laws rented a house here. After 6 months my parents rented a house for a month. I also had a mother’s helper who still comes in twice a week (about 20 hours).

ME: What’s it like working from home – do you work while the babies nap?

MERI: Working from home can be more difficult than one might expect. Because of all the distractions, you can’t focus soley on your work, even with help in the house. I find myself constantly involved with the babies’ care…so working from home is not uninterrupted time.  There are days you essentially double your work load. You’re pulled in 2 directions at once, instead of being able to focus only on caring for the babies, or working. The plus is that you’re there…but it can be challenging to get anything done.

ME: So how DO you get anything done?

MERI: I’m very focused the 2 days my nanny comes in. Otherwise it’s impossible to do any substantive work. As the babies get older, they want more attention, so it gets harder and harder to work when they’re up and I don’t have help. Basically I’ve become extremely efficient in using the time the nanny is here.  Otherwise, I get stressed, and it makes the day not very fun! On days I don’t have help, I may do very light working at naptime, or in the evening. However, I go to bed very early, between 9 – 10pm. I really need that downtime.

ME: I go to bed between 7 and 9pm. Even if it’s just to turn on some junk T.V., I don’t care. I’m so exhausted I usually fall right to sleep!

ME: What keeps you from giving up on working?

MERI: I LOVE my career. I LOVE writing, especially educational things, and of course, nutrition. It’s not about the money for me, I truly enjoy it. Also my personality – I would never stop in the middle of a project.

ME: So you feel like your career makes you happier?

MERI: Happier, yes, but someways, at times, more stressed. Sometimes I ask, “why?” However, working provides an creative adult outlet. It’s fun. I feel very confined as a triplet mom. Working allows me to connect to the world/people so I don’t feel as confined. My work is also flexible which makes is much easier.

ME: Should expecting triplet moms to hang on to their careers?

MERI: Maybe. I think it depends on the person. For some women, it works to work, but for others, not so much. If you don’t have to work, then you must love what you do, otherwise you may find it’s not worth it.

ME: What’s a benefit from working?

MERI: It makes me think like an adult. As a triplet mom, you don’t get out much. You begin to feel confined. It’s something just for me, that I feel good about, and contribution to others.

ME: One last question: How much does your husband help?

MERI:  When I’m working on a book, he helps a lot. My husband takes care of the babies on the weekend, and I work at night when I must…but I know there’s an end date (typically about 6 months).  My husband has a very demanding job (14 hour days) and travels to Asia quite often. But during those 6 months..It’s really intense when you put that much on your plate. You must be very careful not to burn yourself out and ask for as much help as possible from family and friends.

ME: Thanks, Meri. I hope this interview helps other working triplet moms as much as it helps me!

MERI: Your welcome! I hope so, too. It really is an unusual situation to be in, and sometimes the only people who understand are people with similar experiences.

Meri’s new cookbook, The Mediterranean Diet Cookbook for Dummies®, incorporates the Mediterranean way of life, including using fresh, in-season foods, as well as enjoying unhurried meals with family and friends. The Mediterranean diet, abundant in fruits, vegetables, beans, nuts, whole grains, fish and olive oil, has been attributed in recent studies to reduce risk of chronic diseases like heart disease and cancer.

Readers will find:

More than 160 delicious recipes for all occasions

The 12 principles of the Mediterranean lifestyle

Tips for making the switch to a Mediterranean style diet

Ways to incorporate more plant-based foods in your daily routine

Simple steps to include more heart healthy omega-three fatty acids in your diet

Bio:

Meri Raffetto is a registered dietitian and recognized professional in the area of nutrition and wellness. Meri is the founder of Real Living Nutrition (www.reallivingnutrition.com), providing interactive online weight-loss and wellness programs. Meri is also the author of The Glycemic Index Diet for Dummies and coauthor of The Glycemic Index Cookbook for Dummies.

She is a wife and mother of triplets and loves every crazy minute! She has a passion for great food and enjoys getting outside as much as possible to camp, swim and hike with her family.

Most of these photos were taken by Esther’s Aunt Paula and Uncle Chris.

As you can see everyone is doing great and growing fast! As always, thank you all very much for taking the time to send in your positive comments, advice, notes/emails, etc. We really appreciate all the comments and emails!